Fed Up
I am becoming a frumpy spinster. You want proof?
Mr. Fansy called me today as usual and I picked up the phone and barked a curt "WHAT?!!!". His reply was "Hello darling!" and I got seriously irked as usual, but this time, I blew up and yelled at him "Aren't you sick of listening to my voice almost every bloody day? Cos I'm sure as hell sick of listening to yours!". That, my friends, was met with a fit of giggles and a "Come on darling, don't be like that". I yelled again "I'm busy" and slammed the phone down. Even my normally calm colleague was taken aback. Fuck man, all these losers come into my life and never go away.
Bulb keeps asking me out for dinner everyday. He even offered to buy dinner and deliver it to my place yesterday. Jesus Christ, can't a girl have any peace?!
After work, I just want to go home and relax. I don't want to go out, I don't want to make conversation while I'm working, I don't want you to SMS me to have sweet dreams and I sure as hell don't want you to whisper sweet nothings into my ear over the phone.
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I feel much better now.
Where have all the good guys paikia gone? I have this niggling feeling that I chased them all away with my sporadic fiery outbursts.
Vday is coming up dammit.
SMS Conversations I Hate
The Bug: Hey, have you settled your dog for CNY?
Me: Yup. Why? Are you volunteering?
Silence. 24 hours later:
The Bug: Good morning. I hate going to work on Mondays.
Me: I hate it when you don't reply my SMSes.
The Bug: Sorry, I thought it was a statement and if I replied a statement, you might scold me.
Me: I think it's safe to assume it's a question and not a statement when you see a question mark which looks like ?. So what if I scold you? Don't be a wuss.
Silence.
******
Friend: Where are you?
Me: Orchard.
Friend: Which part?
Me: Taka.
Friend: Which part of Taka?
Me: G2000.
Friend: Which floor is that? Not sure where it is.
Me: Basement lor.
Friend: Is it beside U2?
I give up and call my friend. Is it really so difficult to call me and ask for directions?
******
I hate SMSing because I have long nails and it's such a hassle. Yes, I understand you have heaps of free SMSes per month, but please lah, for the sake of convenience, do call me next time instead of having a long SMS conversation. Unless of course, you'd like brusque replies and to see me all hot and bothered.
CNY is next week! Holy cow. Time does fly. I am seriously very embarassed when I receive angpow (red packets) now. My uncles and aunties will hand me the red packet and say very coyly "Very soon no need to give you liao". But they've been saying it for years and it looks like they'll be saying it for many years to come. Muahahahaha!
Honey Trappers
Did you read the New Paper today? There was an article about "honey trappers". Basically, a woman would hire a "honey trapper" when she wants to test her boyfriend/fiance/husband's fidelity. The said "honey trapper" would then follow the woman's husband to a pub or wherever he hangs out, try to make eye contact with him and report what he does. If he comes over to talk to her, the conversation is taped and another "honey trapper" would be on standby filming or taking pictures of the occurence.
I think this is a marvellous idea. Of course, it touches on the issue of trust in a relationship, but my humble opinion is that if you're planning to commit the rest of your life to a guy, it's your prerogative to test your boyfriend/fiance's ability to keep his dick in his pants. You guys may protest, but hey, remember you have the option of saying no and being faithful. That's what a relationship is all about isn't it? I hate men who cheat. I mean, if you want to flirt and fuck around, why bother being in a relationship?
Went to the St. Gregory Spa today and I tell you, life is never boring around me. J and I went swimming with our locker keys around a bracelet on our wrists. Mine got unhooked somehow at the deepest end of the pool. Despite our many attempts to retrieve the goddamned key, we failed and had to beg an angmoh to retrieve it for us. I got water in my lungs in one of my attempts and nearly died.
No, I didn't actually. I was exaggerating.
Then I went to Parco to get a manicure. Bloody hell, it costs $5 more because CNY is round the corner. I didn't mind that the manicure was going to cost me $27 but it was fully booked! So I decided to buy $30 worth of manicure products and did my own manicure at home.
Watched Neverland with GJ. I'd like to apologise to him for hurting his feelings with my post yesterday. Forgive me?
BTW, Johnny Depp is fucking hot.
Don’t Take Religion The Wrong Way
This are two of the testimonies taken from one of the church's website. (Yes, religion has gone hi-tech):
Restoration of Lost Earring Stud
I attended the third service one Sunday. While listening to Pastor Joshua preach, my fingers were playing with my right earring. All of a sudden, I felt my earring stud fall onto the floor. I told my husband and was worried about not being able to find the stud cos it’s so small and almost not visible on the carpet floor.
While raising my hands to claim the blessings that Pastor Joshua pronounced, I also prayed to God to let me find my earring stud. So, immediately after the service, my husband and I searched high and low frantically.
Deacon Jack and a female usher came to help. The female usher, upon learning that the lost item was an earring stud, gave me an impossible look like how could the earring stud be found in such an open space. I don’t blame her because I do have doubts too. I even went to the toilet to go through my clothes to see if it happened to be stuck to my clothes. But no, the stud was not stuck to my clothes.
Praise God, for He is good. That evening, while my husband was sitting on the living room carpet, drinking his coffee, something shiny on the carpet caught his eyes. He picked it up and realised it was my earring stud.
We know how it got there. It must be God! Who else can it be? Thank you God, for even such a small thing concerning me matters to you. I really cannot imagine how much God loves me! Amen.
XXXXXX
22 February 2004
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Blessed With A Car
Greetings from China. After reading a testimony posted on the web where a brother in Christ got a “free” trip to Israel, I was also inspired to testify that God is full of miracles and that He listens to our smallest prayers even while in the shower.
I would like to share how the Lord has blessed us with a Honda Fit (Chinese version of Honda City).
My wife, Mei Yee and son, Joel, and myself are in China now as we relocated here in February 2003. All this while, the Lord has blessed us richly in our health and finances.
During these months, I have been driving a company van. The van is actually problematic and very uncomfortable, not to mention expensive to maintain. So far, the Lord has been showing us lots of grace as the van only breaks down after I return from trips and always when I have arrived in the office.
As my wife will be expecting our second child in end May 2004, we wanted to purchase a personal vehicle for our own use. After some calculations, we decided that we will only be able to look for a vehicle six months later.
But the Lord knows the desires of our hearts and on 12 May 2004, I asked the Lord to help us find a vehicle while I was in the shower.
The next day, during breakfast, I asked one of the local colleagues softly to recommend a good brand of vehicle to buy. It definitely has to be the Lord’s blessing as my Chinese boss, who was sitting about 1.5 metres away heard me, and asked me if I was looking to buy a car. I said yes, but not so soon.
Immediately, my boss offered us the use of his car (the Honda Fit). It was a brand new car that he had originally purchased for his daughter, but because the car arrived two weeks later, his wife purchased another vehicle for her. So the Honda had been parked at his house unused.
I was embarrassed to accept the offer until my boss mentioned that if I felt embarrassed, I could pay him only when I had the finances. Praise the Lord, the car was also $20,000 cheaper than the market rate as he got it directly from the factory.
In addition, the Lord even took care of the cumbersome process of registering a vehicle and getting all the valid licenses.
All we have to do now is WAIT and the car will be delivered to us in a few days’ time. All thanks and praise to the Lord. I am so glad that our God does not look at our current circumstances.
Best regards,
XXXXXXXX
18 March 2004
Author's note: He didn't even mention anything about being grateful towards his boss. Why didn't he praise the boss?
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Please lah, if I was God, do you think I'd have time to find some woman's earring or find you a frigging car?
Once again, I have to reiterate that I have nothing against religion, but the fact that people can use religion for such silly things never ceases to amaze me.
I live in a nice flat, I have a bootiful dog and a relatively good job. I suppose if I was religious, I'd say praise God for blessing me with all this. But I'm not, yet it still happened. Praise FF for being so smart in looking for good flats, jobs and dogs. Oh yes, and I have had so many failed relationships. Praise God for letting me be loved by so many people and letting me learn about life through these people and experiences. Oh oh oh, and I have big feet. Praise God for giving me big feet so my sense of balance is better.
I'm sorry if you feel offended, but really, this aspect of religion sucks! Sometimes you're too absorbed in thanking the higher powers for the good things that happen to you and you forget to thank the people who helped made it happen.
For example, my uncle is a die hard born again Christian. He's a poor man and having to feed a family of 6 is difficult. Sometimes his children go hungry and we give his children our old clothes because he cannot afford to buy new ones for them. Every month, he gives 10% of his paycheck to the church. Every weekend, he's holding prayer sessions at home, and neglects his children whose grades are slipping. No money, but he's going to Vietnam or something to build a school for children. How can?!
Enough said.
Ms. Grumpy
I am cranky today and not because I opened my tray of eggs and one egg flew out and landed splat on the floor, nor was it because silly rascal yanked the eggy tissue from me when I was cleaning up and jumped on my bed to devour it. It also wasn't because she puked on my bed and pooed on the floor and not on the newspaper where she's supposed to.
Yeah, I feel the surge of hormones running through my veins. Talking about hormones, what do they look like? Red blood cells are red and flat shaped (increases surface area to absorb oxygen), white blood cells are white and dunno what shape, but hormones? Are they just particles floating in our bloodstream?
Have a really busy weekend planned. I went to Great World City today for dinner and shopping with a guy (let's call him Bulb). I have no idea what his intentions are but he insisted on paying for dinner at Kenny Roger's (I insisted on paying him back) and he walked me up to my door when he sent me home. Anyway, he's not my type, but I suppose you'll be hearing more of him in time to come.
Tomorrow, I'll be waiting for my Starhub technician to come fix my cable TV. I mean, how the hell can one pay for cable TV and be deprived of Star World? Let's hope he's cute so I can rip off his clothes and molest him. Gym with my gf J after that and I want to go for a manicure. Do you know of any places where I can get a cheap and good manicure in town?
Sunday I'll be going to the spa and watching a movie after with GJ.
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The Customer Is Not Always Right
A customer emailed me angrily saying "I already told you to do this, why didn't you do this? And now that you did that, it's a lot of trouble for me!!!!!!!!"
Yes, those are the exact number of exclamation marks in his email. He never told me to do this. And now I have to grovel for something he never told me to do.
I did an internship in the procurement department in one of the big MNCs a couple of years back. There was a lot of red tape. One wrong move and you could be asked to leave immediately. I learnt the importance of proof. Always make sure you record down what your users or customers say. The best way to do this is to correspond by email, print out the correspondence and file it safely. If anything comes up, you can always show them written proof that you're not in the wrong and was just following orders.
So now, I have no written proof that he asked me to do this, though I have proof that he didn't ask me to do this. And I'm very very sure he didn't ask me to do this.
But still, I have to grovel because the customer is always right. Supposedly.
The Guys In My Life
I haven't mentioned Mr. Fansy for ages, but if anything, I have to admire his perseverance because he calls me every single day still. Now, the conversations always go like this:
Babyyyyyyy, what match to bet on tonight?
Because very oddly, every single team I tell him to take has won. Weird?
Every Monday, I check my voicemail and there's always one from him from Saturday night. Isn't that so sweet? *gag*
The Bug just SMSed me"
Hey you want an iguana to keep as a pet?
Do I sound like a frigging lizard kind of woman?!
Yes, you always sleep and change colours very fast.
????
Honey I’m Home
I was listening to the radio on my handphone today and Sebastian from Power 98 was deejaying. Man, I have to say he's one of the many deejays I can't stand, together with Daniel Ong and Grace Chua. He was advertising Lays Potato Chips which went:
And that song was Aphrodisiac. Speaking of aphrodisiacs, Valentine's Day is coming up. If you're anything like me and can't cook, why not try Lays Potato Chips? They make a great snack!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hello?! Are you guys laughing with me? How many red herrings were there?
But of course, that can't beat the cringe-inducing-corny-like-hell advertisements we hear on Malaysian radio.
On an unrelated note, a friend from KL smsed me this:
Him: Go cheekybynature.blogspot.com. Damn funny!
Me: He's already on my blogroll. (and has been there for yonks!)
Him: Oh, haha. A friend directed me there. How are you doing?
For a friend to 1) SMS me from Malaysia (damn expensive you know - 60cts/SMS) and 2) talk about Cheeky before asking how I am, Cheekster must have made a great impression.
Nan Ren Bu Huai, Nu Ren Bu Ai
I've gotten a lot of flak for declaring I'm a bad boys kinda girl. Like bees to honey, most girls find the bad boy a challenge - an attempt to tame the wild beast into a meek miaow miaow. The nice guys start tsk tsking in disgust saying we ask for it when the bad boys make us cry. Trust me guys, we'd love to love the good guys but it seems to be an innate characteristic of a woman to be attracted to a paikia.
Someone told me off a few days ago after I confessed I am attracted to bad boys... and I quote:
you know what? what you said made me angry, though it's not your fault. what's the point of being nice? women take nice for granted, and look elsewhere. cos they want excitement, they want the thrill. they think they can "change the bad boy." and when they want to settle down, they choose a nice guy. the message seems to be: nice guys are the consolation prizes. the stragglers.
According to Fat Toes Lady, it's nothing but CHARADE when a bad boy comes a-wooing. He's sweet, attentive and loving. You know he's a bad boy but you think you're special because he treats you so well. You fall madly in love. The charade ends, but you can't let go cos you're in too deep and to think you can change him back to his former nice self. Stupid girl!
I asked a couple of people this:
In one sentence tell me what you think of the phenomenon of girls liking bad boys
Mr Miyagi said:
"Girls liking bad boys is not a phenomenon, it is life, it is death, it is the hairy man that caused the sun to shine"
I believe the maori have a haka called 'Ka-mate, ka-ora'.
That encapsulates it well.
because the paikia is enterprising, and takes the trouble to get what he wants.
it is the go-getter in the paikia that attracts the female.
Tetanus said:
better still, i'll give you one word: masochistic
Juan said:
"the grass is greener on the other side"
There you have it folks. That's all for today. Stay tuned for more revelations of the complicated thing we call love.
Boys are rotten made out of cotton.